Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
