I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
