I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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