I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
