I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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