Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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