I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my poor anus
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
