i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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