You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
