well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
