can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
