Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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