What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
