I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
