he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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