first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize