i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize