Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
