Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.

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(509): View more from Washington

Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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(516): View more from New York

shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.

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(319): View more from Iowa

So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."

(319): View more from Iowa

Decisions, decisions.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Shit is preposterous

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(210): View more from Texas

what is considered shitting yourself?

(1-210): View more from Texas

Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.

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