i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize