he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
