eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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