It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
