My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
