don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
