i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
smell my finger.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
