I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
