ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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