is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
