I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
