I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
