but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
