Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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