she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this beer tastes like vomit already
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
