I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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