Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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