Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
