so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
