I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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