You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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