She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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