I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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