who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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