Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
