Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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