The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
