Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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