So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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