i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I've blown a few things in my day
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
