Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
