i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize