So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
