Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
