So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
