Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
