these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
