I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
