Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
