i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
